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A Cat on a Couch

May 26, 2016

It sounds peaceful, I am sure. Unless your cat is my cat. The likely hood of finding my cat on the couch is slim to none, why? She prefers my bed. Not just my bed, she prefers to lay on my fitted sheet at the head of the bed. This is one of the many things in my life DRIVING ME INSANE. I am mildly allergic to my cat, and when I say mildly I mean I wake up with itchy eyes and a stuffy nose. I usually am cleared up by the time I shower or put on my face for the day. Though it is not life endangering, I swear she does this intentionally, because when I wake up she is at the foot of the bed, watching me struggle to breathe like a normal human being.

Let me not forget to mention, she is a jerk. If you do not pet her, she is liable to bite you. If you pet her too long, she is liable to bite you. If you bump her when you roll over in bed, she will definitely bite you. If you dangle a string to play with her, she acts like she wants to play, when she gets close enough, she tries to take your hand off, never once does she even try to touch the string. She draws blood, she means business. Why keep her? Why bother if she isn’t the sweet cuddly kitten you adopted?

Well in our case we have had her nearly 13 years. She has many names, Kitten, Tiger, Kotex, to name a few.. She has her humans trained well, if she meows and walks to the food area, she is telling you to shake her food down, from her auto-feeding food dish. This dish may be why she is so fat, if you saw her you would assume she has had too many litters of kittens, but she has never had one. She scratches at the door when she wants the freedom of the outdoors, and lays at the front door awaiting her return to the indoors. She pees on the bathroom floor if her litter box is “too full”, even if it is not too full. She is hilarious because she chases my full grown dog around, she has taught him to know his place. She is a crabby old thing, but she is stuck with us.

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