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Friends. The Best Ones.

May 5, 2016

You know, when I was 14 just going into high school, I lacked in the friend department. I was rather standoffish. I wore all black, did my makeup like I was trying to impress the men in the band KISS. I was less then favorable by appearance. With my choice in style setting me up to fail, I was still a very kind, compassionate person, but I wasn’t easy to get to know. I realized in those 4 short years that I wanted to make it easier for people to know me, or at least the good in me. That changed my image. I wore more blue jeans and t-shirts, less make up, and I drove anyone and everyone to lunch. What did that do? I changed a little and all of the sudden I had people calling me to go party or hangout. That was a huge step for me. That is also the first time Mr. Anxiety really tried to teach me a lesson. My first party, I puked 3 times before arriving at my friends house,to pick her up, to go to some bonfire in the middle of nowhere. I was so knotted up about going I almost didn’t. Mr. Anxiety reminded me that even one beer from that frothy, teenage tapped keg, could kill my friend, if I drank it and drove. So I stayed sober, no question about it.

I bring up that story simply because I was trying to place the first time I chose to be the best friend I could be. I think this night was that moment for me. I let her get super drunk, I drove her home, I helped sneak us both into her house, and proceeded to sleepover like I was supposed to. Every day I work on being as helpful as I can be, sometimes that is too much for someone. Like the guy I dated in Oklahoma for like two weeks… His birthday and valentines day shared an unfortunate date on the calendar, and he made it very clear that no one had ever done something for both holidays, it was always one or the other. Well me being over anxious, super helper, I had to bake him a birthday cake, make him a special birthday basket, and a valentine gift. It was far to much for an early relationship. Frankly years later I realize it might have been creepy, but then in the moment I was just trying to show him he was an important person. For no other reason then because he is a human being.

Tonight, as I was fighting some rather intense allergies and a sore back, I was scrubbing, helping a friend get showroom ready. I had the thought, I am doing it I am being that friend I wanted to be. Does that mean I am perfect? NO! Does that mean I am seeking praise? NO, absolutely not, I am however tying to be that friend. The one you know you can trust, when no one else is there. I am trying.

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